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Hmm... this is a tough one. I'm going to give my opinion, but that's all it is, my opinion. (Can I stop leaving that disclaimer? I hate it. It's safe to assume anything I say here I my opinion, isn't it?)

Moving along...

I think they're a good idea, but you have to listen to your intuition. I think I know what Susun would say. She would say that it's looking for disease, and spreading fear, and not at all nourishing. I honestly have never felt that way about mine, but I've had exceptionally good midwives who do well woman care (as opposed to natal care) and because I trust my CNM so completely (she keeps the duck lips on a heating pad! :)) I never had a problem relaxing for her. She would go as slowly as I needed her to, and was very understanding. It never hurt, and it always felt like something I was allowing to happen to myself, not something that was happening to me. If you have issues with trusting your doc in some way, then I can totally understand. Or if you've had abuse issues (which I know you said you haven't, but I'm still putting it out there.) Or if you've been hurt in any way by a doc, even accidentally, it can be hard to relax. (I'm going to get frank here) Once during rather rough sex, my poor yoni swelled up and became very painful. I didn't realize it until he tried to enter me again. That one experience, while totally accidental, made it very difficult to relax during subsequent sex. I'm only now getting over it, and it was like, 2 years ago. I can imagine it would be the same thing with a doc. Even moreso, because you can trust and communicate with your partner, but a lot of times you don't feel that with the doc.

Also, you have to learn to trust your intutition. I've learned this gets easier with practice, and the more you do it, the more you can learn what's intuition and what's not. But if you're feeling like right now you don't want to do this, then don't. And don't until you're ready. Your doc is looking out for you, but you shouldn't ever feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do.

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