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Hmm... this is a tough one. I'm going to give my opinion, but
that's all it is, my opinion. (Can I stop leaving that disclaimer?
I hate it. It's safe to assume anything I say here I my opinion,
isn't it?)
Moving along...
I think they're a good idea, but you have to listen to your intuition.
I think I know what Susun would say. She would say that it's looking
for disease, and spreading fear, and not at all nourishing. I
honestly have never felt that way about mine, but I've had exceptionally
good midwives who do well woman care (as opposed to natal care)
and because I trust my CNM so completely (she keeps the duck lips
on a heating pad! :)) I never had a problem relaxing for her.
She would go as slowly as I needed her to, and was very understanding.
It never hurt, and it always felt like something I was allowing
to happen to myself, not something that was happening to me. If
you have issues with trusting your doc in some way, then I can
totally understand. Or if you've had abuse issues (which I know
you said you haven't, but I'm still putting it out there.) Or
if you've been hurt in any way by a doc, even accidentally, it
can be hard to relax. (I'm going to get frank here) Once during
rather rough sex, my poor yoni swelled up and became very painful.
I didn't realize it until he tried to enter me again. That one
experience, while totally accidental, made it very difficult to
relax during subsequent sex. I'm only now getting over it, and
it was like, 2 years ago. I can imagine it would be the same thing
with a doc. Even moreso, because you can trust and communicate
with your partner, but a lot of times you don't feel that with
the doc.
Also, you have to learn to trust your intutition. I've learned
this gets easier with practice, and the more you do it, the more
you can learn what's intuition and what's not. But if you're feeling
like right now you don't want to do this, then don't. And don't
until you're ready. Your doc is looking out for you, but you shouldn't
ever feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do.
Pap
tests Side 3 >>>
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